Here Comes Goodbye
by Anne van Lieshout
Summary: Beck and Jade complete each other. But what if life decides to twist it around? Will Beck survive, without Jade?


_I can hear the truck tires coming up, the gravel road.  
And it's not like her to drive that slow, nothing's on the radio. _

I'm sitting in my RV as I hear a car parking. It's Jade. Of course it is. But for some reason, an idea gets to me. _That doesn't sound like her car. And Jade hates driving in the daylight. She wouldn't park so slowly… _

_Footsteps on the front porch, I hear my doorbell.  
She usually walks right in, now I can tell…_

Finally, I hear footsteps coming towards the trailer, but by surprise, she rings the doorbell. She has a key. And if she forgets it, she breaks the door with her foot. _Something's wrong.  
_I stand up, and open the door. Mrs. Oliver stands in front of me, and her eyes are red.  
"Beck?" she whispers. "Jade got into a car accident last night."  
"What?" I whisper.  
Jade is gone. _Gone. Gone. Gone…_

_Here comes Goodbye, here comes the last time.  
Here comes the start of every sleepless night, the first of every tear I'm going to cry._

She looks calm. Collected. Peaceful. Tears are piercing in my eyes, and someone places a hand on my shoulder. It's Andre.  
"It's okay man," he mumbles. "You'll get over it."  
"Fuck off!" I yell, shaking him off me. He backs away, giving me a confused look.  
"What's the matter with you?" he shouts, looking at me with disgust.

_Here comes the pain, here comes me wishing things had never changed.  
And she was right here in my arms tonight. But here comes…. Goodbye. _

The bed… Feels empty without her. I keep waking up, screaming her name. The nightmares take me over. Reality is killing me. If I could just hold her one more time. If I could at least give her a proper goodbye. Just to see her one more time…

_I can hear her say 'I love you' like it was yesterday.  
And I can see it written on her face, that she had never felt that way. _

"Jade?" I ask, while Sikowitz is teaching us something about improvisation. Not that I care about my education anymore. I just want her.  
"Uh, Beck?" Sikowitz asks me, and all the attention is directed towards me. "Are you okay?"  
"I can hear her!" I yell, and he gives me a worried look.  
"Hear who?" Cat innocently asks Tori, who whispers something back.  
"Maybe you need to rest for a while," Sikowitz eventually says. "Or get some help."  
"No!" I yell. "I don't want help. You can hear her too right? Robbie? Andre?"  
The shake their heads in confusion. But there it is again.  
_I love you Beck. _

_One day I thought I'd see her, with her daddy by her side.  
And violins would play; 'Here Comes The Bride'. _

I find a picture of _us _by my nightstand. She's smiling. I'm smiling. We were so happy. So fucking happy.  
I remember when we were talking about our future.  
_"Beck?" Her sweet, innocent voice. "Do you… Think about the future? Our future?"  
"Of course," I smile, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "You'll be wearing a black wedding dress, and I'll be in a white gown." _

_But here comes Goodbye, here comes the last time.  
Here comes the start of every sleepless night, the first of every tear I'm going to cry. _

'_Jade West here. If you're not Beck, or someone I care enough about to reply, don't bother wasting your time, leaving a message. Beeep.'  
_"Hey babe," I whisper in my phone. "I miss you."  
"Where are you?"  
"What happened to all our promises?"  
"What happened to our forever?"  
"I love you."

_Here comes the pain, here comes me wishing things had never changed.  
And she was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes… Goodbye._

Her grave is in a field. It's empty, and peaceful. It's perfect.  
Every Sunday, I go and talk to her. Lay a black flower on her stone.  
"I know you're somewhere," I whisper. "Because that's what Lane thinks. That you're never really gone if I keep thinking about you. You'll always stay with me. But that's BULLSHIT!"

_Why does it have to go from good to gone?  
When the lights turn on, and you're left alone.  
All alone…  
But here comes… Goodbye. _

It's been 5 months (It can't be 5 already) when I shove Tori against her locker, bruising my lips against hers. Her lips are too soft. Too sweet. Where did the rough mouth of _her _go?  
And she smells like fucking glitter and strawberries. Where did my lemon and peppermint go?

_Here comes Goodbye, here comes the last time.  
Here comes the start of every sleepless night, the first of every tear I'm going to cry._

I broke Tori's heart. I know it. Andre won't talk to me anymore. Robbie is too scared, and Cat is just as depressed as I am. But I don't give a fuck.  
So every time someone tries to talk to me, I either punch them in the face. Without regret. Or I tell them to go screw with someone else.  
Because I'm not really Beck Oliver anymore. I'm not calm, collected, peaceful. Not the kind boy everyone used to know as one of their best friends.  
I'm a mess. Just like she is. _Was. _(You accepted it remember?)

_Here comes the pain, here comes me wishing things had never changed.  
And she was right here in my arms tonight. But here comes… Goodbye. _

It's over for good. I can't take the silence of the death of Jade West that hangs in the hallways of Hollywood Arts anymore.  
I go to the ocean. Keeping our promises.  
"Jade?" I whisper, and out of nothing, I see her. "We'll be together now. Forever."  
"And Always."  
"I love you."  
I'm falling into the salty, yet beautiful ocean. I try to hold on to a last thing, before the darkness takes me away, and I find a pearl.


End file.
